everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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