the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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