Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
