I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
