not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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