I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
