Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
