there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
