Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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