mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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