so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
