What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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