ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
