They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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