So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
