I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
