Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize