So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
