Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
