Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
