pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and she was petting her beer can
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My dick has a subreddit
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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