Texts From Last Night

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  (772): View more from Florida

  bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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  (772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls http://tfl.nu/txmo
  Replies (58) Good night (2546) Bad night (8083)
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  (562): View more from California

  it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with

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  (562): it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with http://tfl.nu/2rwe
  Replies (14) Good night (4913) Bad night (1034)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

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  (402): I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back. http://tfl.nu/jjtt
  Replies (8) Good night (2546) Bad night (898)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!

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  (910): Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/gina
  Replies (13) Good night (1418) Bad night (6778)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.

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  (765): On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/r8q3
  Replies (7) Good night (2099) Bad night (752)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet

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  (812): He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet http://tfl.nu/4ir7
  Replies (7) Good night (2659) Bad night (843)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3635) Bad night (733)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.

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  (713): Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America. http://tfl.nu/d35e
  Replies (12) Good night (1829) Bad night (697)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.

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  (253): I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE. http://tfl.nu/sorm
  Replies (7) Good night (1800) Bad night (647)
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  (+33): View more from France

  It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"

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  (+33): It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year" http://tfl.nu/mi0c
  Replies (3) Good night (1542) Bad night (603)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.

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  (919): These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again. http://tfl.nu/lco3
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (997)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often

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  (412): wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often http://tfl.nu/efwp
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....

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  (713): It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking.... http://tfl.nu/vznz
  Replies (1) Good night (730) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...

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  (847): I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat... http://tfl.nu/j5yd
  Replies (2) Good night (1087) Bad night (293)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!

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  (775): Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go! http://tfl.nu/4p22
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (100)

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