are you still at the devil's house?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.