I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.