Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(312): View more from Illinois

I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(312): I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/ityh

Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (1514)
Favorite
(805): View more from California

In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career http://tfl.nu/rhke

Replies (18) Good night (4727) Bad night (697)
Favorite
(239): View more from Florida

I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(239): I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them http://tfl.nu/55o4

Replies (99) Good night (4815) Bad night (2502)
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

Tell me the dirtiest joke you know

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Sarah Palin

(907): View more from Alaska

god, I love you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): Tell me the dirtiest joke you know (1-907): Sarah Palin (907): god, I love you http://tfl.nu/fmd4

Replies (101) Good night (10736) Bad night (1479)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality. http://tfl.nu/vr2w

Replies (13) Good night (4433) Bad night (1356)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious http://tfl.nu/30k1

Replies (11) Good night (3392) Bad night (1001)
Favorite
(219): View more from Indiana

My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj

Replies (24) Good night (5961) Bad night (2604)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips. http://tfl.nu/4kys

Replies (1) Good night (2374) Bad night (886)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen. http://tfl.nu/269t

Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (1451)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces. http://tfl.nu/n65u

Replies (4) Good night (654) Bad night (1402)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me http://tfl.nu/8jt8

Replies (7) Good night (1275) Bad night (600)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning. http://tfl.nu/kez0

Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (636)
Favorite
(647): View more from Ontario

Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(647): Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?" http://tfl.nu/c4jm

Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (1025)
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it. http://tfl.nu/wtlk

Replies (8) Good night (2568) Bad night (716)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean? http://tfl.nu/44u3

Replies (4) Good night (1319) Bad night (425)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard