Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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