It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor