just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
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As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.