The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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