Got a toothbrush?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
