Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize