I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
