I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
