So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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