Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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