How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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