What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
