Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She even gives head with a lisp.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
