i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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