I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
