If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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