Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize