I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
