Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
