Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
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call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
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I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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