He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize