so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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