from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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