Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
