I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
