found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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