his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
