just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
