Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
