She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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