MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
