I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
