Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
