bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
