Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize