And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
